Here’s our sweet Buggie, a lover of a cat who has always seemed much younger than her now 12 years. This photo is from last year, and doesn’t show the now apparent bulge on her cheek, the result of a tumor invading her lower left jaw.
What’s remarkable is how little this tumor is distressing her, at this stage. She drools, and her tooth hangs over her lip, and her vet says that her jaw is now fractured as a result of the tumor’s rapid growth. But she can still eat, and complains to me when I make loud noises (like unloading the dishwasher), and snuggles.
We missed her rapidly growing tumor, in part because she shares the house with a 21-year-old cat, whose health issues understandably took priority in the past year. After all, a 21-year-old who’s gone deaf and screams at us in Oriental fashion in the middle of the night (“Why is no one in this room? Why am I in this room? What the hell is going on around here?”) tends to steal the spotlight.
But in retrospect, Buggie had become snugglier, more prone to crawling in my lap to position herself between me and the iPad. More likely to crawl under the covers, rather than to sleep on top. And the drooling should have been a tip-off. But I chalked it up to winter, when we’d all rather be hibernating.
Buggie’s vet is surprised by the lack of evident involvement of her lungs or nodes, considering the size of the tumor. But she’s always been a healthy girl, so she’s been weathering this well. Me, not so much. I’ve only known her as long as I’ve known Coleen, but somehow I feel as attached to her as if I’d raised her from the tiny, bug-eyed kitten she once was.
I made the mistake the other day, during a writing workshop, of starting on this next Tuesday’s assigned reading–Amy Robillard’s remarkable JAC article on anticipating the death of her beloved dog Annabelle. I made it through the first four pages, started tearing up, and had to stop. I should probably warn the students, too.
Buggie has settled herself in my lap again, which means it’s time to give her some snuggles.
Fail Better 